


What Does Freak Look Like?

by Kateera



Series: Freaks of Nature [5]
Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: Adoption, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Biting, M/M, Minor Violence, Mpreg, Rough Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-14
Updated: 2019-02-14
Packaged: 2019-10-28 13:07:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17787977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kateera/pseuds/Kateera
Summary: Randall and Matthew are living the dream of any mated and murderous couple, but an unwanted surprise knocks them back into doubt and miscommunication.





	What Does Freak Look Like?

**Author's Note:**

> I am so grateful to [obfuscatedheart](https://archiveofourown.org/users/obfuscatedheart) helping to beta this so fast!  
> Another shout out to [TigerPrawn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TigerPrawn/profile) for pushing me to finish this thing :P
> 
>  
> 
> Check me out on [tumblr](http://kateera.tumblr.com/) or [twitter](https://twitter.com/kateera_) to say hi and ask questions.

 

“FUCK!”

Randall’s spoon broke and clattered to the floor as he rushed towards the panicked shout. He’d been making dinner in the kitchen, humming to himself while Matthew cleaned up from their recent murderous activities in the bathroom and trying to keep his mood as light and non threatening as possible. His wonderfully edgy and temperamental mate had been more pernicious than normal (which was an alarming minefield to navigate) and Randall had hoped that a fresh kill would relax Matthew’s mood.

_I guess not._

The bathroom door was closed and locked and Randall could feel The Beast awaken from his normal nap after an afternoon of satiated violence.

_//What is it?//_

Randall frowned as nothing came across the bond link except anger. Even when Matthew was irritable and grumpy, a thin strand of love would always coat their bond, something to reassure Randall that his mate wasn’t thinking about leaving or killing him. With nothing but despair tinged rage rushing through, Randall felt the beginnings of panic in his chest.

“Matthew, can you open the door?”

He ran through all the weapons Matthew could possibly have in the bathroom as he tried the handle again, borrowing some strength from The Beast to break the lock.

He pulled the door open and stared into the crimson, twisted face of his mate. “Are you alright?”

His answer was a swing of Matthew’s arm and the flash of sharpened steel. Randall felt the knife edge slice along his abdomen before he was able to grab Matthew’s arm and wrench the paring knife from his hand.

Matthew glared at him, spittle flying from his mouth as he snarled. “Get out of my way.”

_//Pretty one?//_

Randall’s panic increased at the questioning in The Beast’s voice and he felt like he was drowning in the waves of fury washing over the bond.

“Get Out Of My Way!” Matthew sent a flash of rage towards Randall, using it as a whip against his mind.

Randall growled as pain radiated in his head, but he held his ground. “What happened?”

Hostility and anguish burned in Matthew’s eyes and he pushed forward, trying unsuccessfully to make a Beast Powered Randall move. “How could you do this to me?”

Randall tilted his head in complete confusion, working back through his previous actions to try and find anything he might have done to upset his mate.

“I don’t know what you mean darling,” Randall said, his voice soft and kind in the wake of Matthew’s fury.

Matthew screamed in rage and threw whatever was in his other hand at Randall, hitting him in the chest. As he looked down to see what it was, Matthew pushed past him and ran down the stairs.

Randall looked at the slim white plastic stick on the ground and horror flooded through his body.

_//Child?//_

Randall swallowed hard and picked up the stick, turning it over and staring at the positive symbol as a lump formed in his throat.

“He’s pregnant. Fuck.”

The Beast purred in satisfaction even as Randall pressed his palms to his forehead and closed his eyes and tried to keep his panic and fear from sizzling across their bond. Matthew was freaked out enough, he didn’t need Randall’s own insecurities.

_This, this is bad. This is so bad. Fuck._

_//No, this is a gift.//_

“We can’t deal with a child, not with our lives!” He wanted to chase after Matthew, wanted to comfort and hold him and fix everything, but this wasn’t something so easily set right.

_//Just because something is difficult, doesn’t mean it isn’t worthwhile.//_

“We are in no position to care for a baby.” Randall placed the pregnancy test on the bathroom counter and went back to the kitchen.

As expected, the car was gone and he wrangled back The Beast’s desire to go searching for their missing mate. Flashes of what Matthew might try in his panicked state played like a horror movie in his mind and The Beast growled in distress.

“We wait for him to come back.” Randall threw the knife he’d snatched from Matthew into the sink and leaned against the counter.

_//We cannot let him harm our child!//_

“Enough!” Randall snarled at The Beast with every ounce of ferocity he possessed. “It’s his decision.”

He slammed his hands down on the counter, feeling the burn across his palms at the impact. “I don’t give a fuck if you think this is the best thing to ever happen. He’s not okay with it and that’s the end of the matter.”

He felt The Beast pacing in the back of his mind but he stayed blessedly silent. Randall wasn’t under any illusions that The Beast was giving up, but at least he had enough time to think about where Matthew might be and what he might be doing.

****

Tires squealed and smoke drifted from the abused rubber as Matthew sped down the road, a grip like steel on the steering wheel as he weaved through traffic.

_Fuck this roach infested shitfest._

He didn’t know where he was headed, but driving was better than trying to handle Randall’s shock and The Beast’s infuriating pleasure at the news.

_The universe is having a fucking piss party on my plans._

He could feel the steering wheel creak and groan under his clenched grip. A small part of his mind, the part trying to be rational, poked at the reminder that it wasn’t like he and Randall were being particularly safe during sex. His last heat had been a blur of fucking and comfort and banana flavored ice pops and it had been one of the most enjoyable experiences of his life.

_So of course, life had to remind me that I’m the dumpster pit of her fucking moods._

A car honked at him as he cut through the last dregs of traffic and headed out to the open freeway. He thought about stopping and following the fucker and showing him exactly where he could shove his annoying horn, but the urge to keep driving until he ran out of road won the battle of desires.

Driving to the end of the world wouldn’t stop the inevitable, but so long as he focused on driving, he couldn’t give in to the bone-deep need for Randall and his solid presence and calming demeanor.

Some calming effect he had, Matthew thought, still struggling to forget Randall’s utter panic that sparked through the bond before he shut it down as he drove away.

That Randall let him leave when he could have laid down a command and made him stay was both relieving and annoying and he recognized the contradiction, even if he couldn’t stop it.

_Did he let me go because this isn’t something he can deal with? Is he hoping I don’t come back?_

A brief flutter in his mind, a signal that Randall was checking to make sure he was alright, was all Matthew needed to pull over and break down. He beat his hands against the steering wheel and screamed until his voice cracked and gave out from the abuse. With his strength gone, there was nothing left to do but sob into his sleeves while the low hum of the engine buzzed around him in stark indifference.

_It’s not fucking fair._

He’d long since ditched the idea that life would ever be fair for a freak like him, but emotional breakdowns over unwanted surprises weren’t meant to be rational. Leaning back against the headrest, Matthew took long breaths to calm his mind, then let down his barriers. Randall’s worry and The Beast’s ire came flooding through.

 _Are you safe?_ Randall asked, caution coating his question.

Matthew choked back another sob and ran his hands through his hair. I’m safe, just...fuck. I don’t know what to do.

_//Come home. We will take care of you and our child.//_

At the mention of the pregnancy, Matthew shook with another bout of tears and he could hear Randall and The Beast arguing in the back of his mind. He wanted to throw up.

_I don’t fucking want this! You think I ever wanted to be some fat pregnant omega with a slobbering baby on each hip? A breeding bitch for this fucked up world?_

_Then you won’t be,_ Randall told him quickly, trying to push The Beast back into his corner.

 _//The baby must be protected.//_ The Beast sounded close, like he might appear in the car and force Matthew into accepting the child currently growing inside of him.

 _What about me?_ Matthew snarled, mentally baring his teeth at the overbearing Alpha creature.

His relationship with The Beast was normally warm and invigorating and full of the love of violent creatures, but caustic spite filled Matthew’s voice as he fought against The Beast’s influence.

_You can’t even see me anymore, can you? I’m just the knocked up incubator to your twisted fucking need for legacy._

The Beast disappeared from his mind and he felt a phantom pang of agony at the abrupt departure. Wrapping his arms around himself, Matthew closed his eyes and searched the bond for Randall.

 _He’s gone for now._ Randall sighed and sent love and need through their bond. Do you want to come home?

Feeling slightly better and more than a little ridiculous at his full-blown temper tantrum, Matthew accepted the comfort of his mate. Shame trickled down his spine as he remembered attacking Randall in the bathroom.

 _I’m sorry about the knife._ He plucked at a loose thread on his shirt. _Lashing out is kinda my thing._

Every relationship needs excitement. Matthew felt Randall’s soft chuckle. Please come home. We could talk this through together and decide what to do, if you wanted.

Matthew looked down at the steering wheel and sighed. _On my way._

Happiness burst like blooming flowers against the bond and Matthew let it warm him as he turned the car around and headed home.

****

Randall pulled the blankets from the bed and made a nest in the living room, piling pillows and cushions and blankets into a comfortable lounge area. He thought about food and drinks and everything except what he and Matthew would have to decide when he returned.

_//Don’t kill our child.//_

Randall sighed and pushed The Beast back into his corner. We didn’t plan this, so we're going to do what Matthew wants because it’s his body.

_//Our child will be beautiful beyond compare, a perfect creature.//_

_Matthew is our main concern. He’s not just a body to fuck and breed._ Randall hated fighting with The Beast, an exercise that always produced a headache and very little sleep.

 _//Our mate is magnificence itself and a child would only bring more joy.//_ The Beast sent Randall an image of Matthew swollen with child.

Randall couldn’t help the rush of Alpha pride at the created image. “Stop that.”

The Beast let the image go but the feeling of pride and family stayed. //He will come around to the idea. We must be strong for him.//

He hoped Matthew was concentrating on driving instead of on his mood. “Yeah, Well, your attitude reads like you only care for the tiny collection of cells in Matthew’s womb so shut the hell up.”

_//He feels our love.//_

Randall wondered if he could reach in and mentally strangle the stubborn creature. “He feels trapped and panicked, not sure love is getting through there, so again, back the fuck off.”

The Beast grumbled and paced but Randall mentally pointed to the normal “corner” in his mind where The Beast resided. Eventually, his Alpha half curled up and pretended to go to sleep.

_Thank you._

Randall jumped from the couch at the sound of their car pulling into the driveway and hurried into the kitchen. He had an assortment of food at the ready and hoped that Matthew wouldn’t push away his attempts to care for his mate. The bond hummed with anxiety and nervous energy and Randall ached at the panic building in Matthew’s mind.. Carrying his tray to the living room, Randall set it on the coffee table and had time to stand up straight before Matthew barreled into him and knocked him to the carpet.

“Wha-?” His head hit the floor and stars danced for a moment in his vision.

Matthew held Randall’s arms down as he straddled his thighs, glaring down at him with bared teeth and wide panicked eyes. Sometimes Matthew wanted Randall to surrender, subdue his Alpha instincts and submit to Matthew’s need for control.

Sometimes, he needed Randall to fight back. So much for talking.

 _Talk later,_ Matthew hissed into his mind as he lunged for Randall’s throat.

Pushing a knee between his legs, Randall wrenched his arms out from under Matthew’s hands and flipped them over, rolling on the carpet until he could pin his mate beneath him. In the back of his mind, The Beast growled and twitched.

“You fucking asshole,” Matthew spat, lashing out with his fists and catching Randall in the temple.

Randall hissed but pushed Matthew back down, ignoring the pain in his head and focusing on keeping his hold. “I’m the asshole? You attack me with a knife and then jump me, and I’m the fucking asshole?”

Matthew squirmed and Randall felt the touch of The Beast against his mind. _//We want him.//_

_That might be the worst idea ever._

_//You say we must show we care. I can give what he needs.//_

Staring down at Matthew, the thread of panic still making his heart race and his thoughts scatter, Randall gave into The Beast’s request. Physically, nothing major changed, though his nails curved into claws and there seemed to be more teeth in his mouth than usual, but the predatory gleam behind his eyes showed exactly who was in control.

//***//

“No, no you fucker!” Matthew scratched and bit at him as The Beast took over but he was no match for the normally caged strength of the Alpha.

 _//Still, pretty one. We will give you what you want.//_ He felt Randall settle down in a spot near the back of his mind, willing to watch and wait while Matthew struggled beneath him.

The Beast marveled at the fire and strength in Matthew. Alphas in this day and age were soft and pathetic, wanting whimpering little Omegas to tend to their every biological need. Weak and puny creatures with no thoughts beyond safety and comfort. They were born for survival and yet still society sat like birds in a cage, waiting for the inevitable. His Matthew though, all rough edges and fighting spirit, was a true mate. He didn’t simper and beg and only bent when he wished and had clawed his way out of the chains the world tried to wrap around him. He was a true Omega, a will to himself and beholden to none but his mate.

The Beast gathered Matthew up against his chest, still keeping his arms pinned even as Matthew latched onto his neck and bit down hard enough to draw blood. //Only you, pretty one, only you.//

“I fucking hate you.” Tears gathered in Matthew’s eyes as blood dripped from his mouth.

// “No.”// The Beast leaned forward and licked a droplet of his own blood from Matthew’s chin. // “You are my worthy mate.”//

With Matthew safely trapped in his arms, The Beast walked to the bedroom and deposited him on the bed. He immediately jumped up and tried to run for the door but The Beast caught him by the arm and threw him back onto the mattress.

// “Fight, pretty one. I won’t let it go to waste.”// Tearing at Matthew’s clothes, The Beast stripped him bare and kept him pinned to the bed, dropping the clothes on the floor in tatters.

He looked at his mate with a tenderness that belied the rough strength keeping Matthew on the bed. He traced the scars of his pale skin, tweaked his dark pink nipples, and ran a hand over the muscles that tensed and bunched as Matthew tried to throw him off.

// “Tell me what you really want, Pretty.”//

The air crackled as The Beast waited for Matthew’s answer, one hand holding his wrists and the other dragging nails along his exposed abdomen. The bond pulsed with want and anger, need and fury and panic and love and so many emotions crashing together that The Beast wondered how Randall didn’t go mad.

“Do your worst,” Matthew hissed, his hips rising off the bed to follow The Beasts trailing fingers.

// “Yes.” // The Beast marveled at the waves of pleasure and desire rolling off of his mate, even as Matthew hissed and twisted and scratched. // “You are perfect.” //

Keeping Matthew pinned, The Beast stripped off his own clothes and threw them on the floor, tearing them in places in order to keep control of his mate. He could smell slick and the heady scent of Matthew’s arousal brought a low growl out of him.

// “Mine.” //

He didn’t give Matthew time to do more than yelp before he flipped him onto his back and drove his cock deep into that slick opening, feeling the muscles squeeze and contract around him. Pushing Matthew down into the mattress, The Beast pounded against him relentlessly, growling and snarling with each whimper and gasp from his mate. More slick gushed from Matthew as The Beast buried himself deep with each thrust. The smell of it, earthy and sweet, pushed him past all thought and reason. Animalistic instinct took the reins as he dragged Matthew closer and with a howl of pleasure, slid every inch of his cock into him. His knot pushed through the tight ring of muscle and they were locked together, Matthew’s hands clawing at the mattress as his body stretched to accommodate The Beast’s growing knot.

// “Pretty, so pretty.” // The Beast dug his fingers into Matthew’s hips and brought him up to lean against his chest, running his hands up and down Matthew’s lean sweaty body but never touching his dark and red cock. Matthew moaned as The Beast rocked him, feeling him clench and tighten around the cock buried deep inside him.

“So, fucking, good,” Matthew panted.

// “Yes, all mine.” // The Beast wrapped one hand around Matthew’s cock, the other around his neck and sank his teeth into their mated mark.

“Yes, fuck! Yes!” Matthew screamed as he orgasmed, shaking and rocking with violent tremors while his cum splattered the bed and The Beast’s legs.

In response, The Beast bit down harder, clamping his mouth over blood and flesh as he followed Matthew into orgasm. Pulsing streams of cum spilled into him and The Beast pushed him forward, Alpha pride running high as he watched cum and slick slide down Matthew’s thighs.

// “Love you.” //

Matthew looked over his shoulder, still panting from the force of his orgasm, and nodded. “Love you too.”

The Beast could feel Randall poking his way back to the surface and leaned forward, draping his body over Matthew’s back. // “There is no shame in your body’s willingness to carry our child.” //

Matthew tensed and shook his head. “I’m not fucking ashamed of shit.”

// “But you fear.” //

“No fucking shit, Sherlock.”

It seemed even a mind-blowing orgasm couldn’t dampen Matthew’s mouth and it made The Beast smile.

// “You fear for your freedom.” //

“Fuck, you suck at post coital conversations.” Matthew tried to pull away but The Beast's knot still held them together. “I'd kill you if you tried to keep me caged.”

The Beast felt along their bond, trying to uncover what had his mate so afraid that he couldn't voice it.

Randall whispered it through the bond. You're afraid of hurting the child.

Matthew flinched and with a painful cry, pulled himself off the slowly deflating knot.

// “You would never hurt our child.” // The Beast said, every ounce of Alpha arrogance present in his voice.

“I tried to slice Randall open from chin to navel this very afternoon, so forgive me if I don't have your fucking confidence.”

The Beast watched in silence as Matthew curled into a ball and tucked his head between his knees.

 _Let me,_ Randall said, instinctively reaching for his hurting mate.

_//I can convince him to-//_

_No, that is exactly what we can't do. Could you live with yourself if you drove him away? Because you kept pushing? We said we wouldn't chain him, so stop._

The Beast brushed a hand through Matthew's hair and released his hold on Randall's body.

***

Randall slipped back into place and reached out for Matthew, needing to comfort and care for his wounded Omega.

“I got you,” Randall said as Matthew tucked himself into his open arms.

He felt The Beast purr and slink into his normal spot, satisfied but curious. Matthew hummed and nuzzled against Randall's chest, wiping blood across his skin from the torn mark on his throat.

“You good to talk now?” Randall rested his chin on Matthew's head and pulled him closer.

“I guess we should.” The words were soft and mumbled but Randall heard them and nodded his head.

“So, a violent and dangerous lifestyle is no fit place for a child.” Starting with the obvious felt natural and Randall shifted until he could stretch out his legs and cradle Matthew in his lap. “But I don't feel like we should get rid of it either.”

“It's a lump of cells, not a baby,” Matthew muttered, even as his hand reached out to run his fingers down his stomach. “We can't keep it, Randall, I just, if we get caught or separated or one of us gets killed…”

“We could try a life without our hobby?” Randall shook his head even as he said it. “No, that's what you mean by refusing to be caged, I know.”

Matthew reached for Randall, pulling his head down and kissing him gently. “I love you and I would do almost anything for you, but this isn't about us.”

Warmth and love welled up in Randall's heart and he coughed to cover up the urge to cry. “So, I can make an appoint-”

_//No! We cannot do this!//_

Randall winced at the shout in his head and Matthew narrowed his eyes.

_//We do not have to raise the child, but please, do not destroy them!//_

“What, put them up for adoption on fucking Craigslist? Any legal organization is going to have us both in handcuffs before we have time to cut the god damn cord.” Matthew rolled his eyes but a glimmer of interest fluttered through the bond.

Randall didn't want to sound too hopeful but he couldn't help the trickle of optimism slipping through and into their bond. “Craigslist is a stupid idea, but I bet we could find someone on our own, or with the help of the Graham Lecters.”

Randall pushed The Beast back, hoping this new thread would be enough for his Alpha half to back down.

Rolling onto his side, Matthew groaned. “God, Will is going to laugh for so long.”

“Hannibal too,” Randall added with a smirk.

He ran his hand along Matthew's arm, following the curve of his body. “Adoption is a possible solution then?”

Matthew tilted his head and addressed The Beast. Why is this so damn important to you? Normally we land on the same side of things.

_//Ours is a perfect union of soul and spirit. A child born from such beginnings could change the world.//_

_The world can go fuck itself._

_//Yes, the world would tremble before our offspring. //_

Laughing at the idea, Matthew turned his eyes back to Randall and shrugged. “Adoption isn't the worst idea, so long as we take steps to make sure this doesn't fucking happen again.”

Randall could feel The Beast want to protest but he pushed him back. You're getting the one, even if we don't raise it. Count it as a win.

The Beast grumbled and settled down, happy but disappointed.

“I’ll get a vasectomy so we don't have to worry about a slip during your heat, how's that?” Randall asked, rolling over so he was lying on top of Matthew.

“Sounds completely unfair considering I have to go through childbirth.” Matthew grinned up at him. “But I'll take the compromise.”

“You're amazing,” Randall whispered, cupping Matthew's cheek in his hand and kissing him.

“Remember that when I'm fucking fat as hell and pissed and throwing knives at you.” He dragged his hand down the front of Randall’s chest, letting his fingers catch on the cut he’d inflicted earlier.

“I'll remember.” Bending down, Randall ran his tongue along the bloody mark adorning Matthew's throat. “The Beast had his way with you already.” Sliding a hand between Matthews thighs, Randall found his dripping hole and slowly circled its rim with a finger. “My turn.”

  
***9.5 months later***

  
“Are you sure this is the right place?”

“Will gave very specific instructions, so yes, I'm sure.”

“What if they change their mind?”

“How could they? One look at him and they're going to turn into piles of mush.”

Matthew looked behind him to the sleeping baby in his carrier and smiled. “Yeah, sounds about right.”

Randall reached over and squeezed Matthew’s shoulder. “Ready?”

Not trusting himself to speak, Matthew nodded and climbed out of the car. He hated the lump of dread in his throat and the ache in his heart as he thought about handing Bug over to his new home.

“Grab his bag, will you?” Matthew concentrated on getting Bug out of the car without exposing him to the biting wind while Randall took charge of the diaper bag and accessories.

_// I do not like this house. //_

Matthew growled and stomped away from the car, his emotional state too wrecked to deal with The Beast’s continuous griping. The beta couple came highly recommended by Will and Hannibal, a pairing almost as strange as him and Randall but unable to have their own children.

“The house is fine,” Randall said, walking up to Matthew and taking his hand. “Stop thinking of ways to change our minds.”

Giving Randall a soft smile, Matthew adjusted the carrier in his arms and rang the doorbell. He listened to the sound of two panicked individuals throw themselves into the room and open the door. Staring at the two men, both of them breathing too hard and smiling too wide, Matthew imagined their broken bloody corpses and managed a smile in return.

“Welcome, come in!” The older man waved them through the door. “I'm Jimmy and is Brian, my husband.”

“Thanks for letting us do this in private,” Randal said, putting bite behind his words.

Matthew kept one hand on Randall and the other on Bug's carrier as they followed the men through the entryway and into a modest sized living room.

Brian and Jimmy looked at each other and Matthew watched panic, resolve, and acceptance flit across their features.

At least I will be able to tell if they are lying. Can't hide a thing with those faces.

“Will was very persuasive and honestly, we were tired of getting bumped back on lists whenever a childless Alpha/Omega pairing came along.” Brian's voice held enough venomous spite that Matthew relaxed a little.

“You were the only couple on Will’s list for us,” Randall said, nudging Matthew's arm. “Would you like to see him?”

Watching Jimmy's face light up with happiness, Matthew felt another point of stress melt away. He lifted the blanket off of Bug’s carrier and let Jimmy take a peek at the sleeping baby inside.

Jimmy pressed his hand over his mouth and his eyes watered. “Oh, he’s beautiful.”

_//Why is he surprised? Is he that dumb?//_

Matthew ignored The Beast’s irate commentary. “Thanks, he’s a fucking asshole.”

Brian snorted and Jimmy gasped and Randall sighed, taking Matthew over to the small love-seat and pushing him onto a cushion.

“You just can’t help being annoying.” Randall took the baby carrier from Matthew and set it on the floor, opening it up and giving Brian and Jimmy a chance to watch Bug wake up.

Matthew grinned at Randall’s familiar fond exasperation. “I like to be consistent.”

Brian and Jimmy weren’t listening to them, their attention all on Bug and his post-sleep stretching and yawning. Matthew leaned against Randall and watched the two men introduce themselves to their son.

 _Their son, it feels right._ Matthew looked up at Randall with a sigh. _Even if it still fucking hurts._

Randall kissed the top of his head. _I got you darling._

_//We got you.//_

If he didn’t move soon, Matthew was going to cry and that was unacceptable in front of these two weak willed betas. He sat up and reached for Bug, unbuckling him from the carrier and wrapping him in a blanket.

“Who wants to hold him?” He asked, holding out the tightly wrapped baby.

Brian reached Bug first and held him gently against his chest, staring down with astonishment and wonder.

“I packed a few extra bottles of milk in his bag but he doesn’t mind formula so you should be set with that simulated stuff.” He wanted to stuff a sock in his mouth, anything to shut up the mindless prattle. “I know you’ve probably stocked up but there’s some toys and clothes as well.”

“Thank you,” Jimmy said, scooting over to Brian and running his hand along his mate’s back. “You don’t know how much this means to us.”

His eyes spoke volumes and Matthew swallowed hard against the lump in his throat.

“Well, Will said you were good people,” Matthew said, beyond uncomfortable with his emotional upheaval. “We should go.”

“You don’t have to,” Jimmy said, fixing Matthew with a warm smile. “Stay for dinner!”

Brian looked at his mate as if he were insane. “Jimmy, dear, the cold blooded killers do not want to stay for dinner.”

Randall snorted and stood up from the couch. “Thanks for the invite, but we should let you get to know Bug in peace.”

“Bug?” Brian’s face wrinkled. “That’s his name?”

“I wasn’t going name him something permanent.” Matthew hated how small his voice sounded. “You can name him what you like. He’s your son.”

He couldn’t take the pressure in his chest any longer and Matthew stormed out of the house, half hearing Randall’s hasty goodbyes as he felt tears well up behind his eyes.

_Fuck. Fuck. FUCK! What is wrong with me?_

“Nothing is wrong with you,” Randall said, appearing beside him and wrapping him in a comforting embrace. “Say the word and I’ll go slit their throats and take our Bug back home.”

Matthew held his breath for a moment then slipped out of Randall’s arms and crawled into the car. His head felt fuzzy and warm as he stared out the windshield.

He’s better off here. I know it. I might be fucking messed up, a total freak with less morality than a goldfish, but I know he wouldn’t survive our life.

Randall’s warm acceptance seeped into his chest through their bond and Matthew let the tears fall while his mate climbed in and started the car.

“Did you want to find something to kill?” Randall asked as he pulled out of the drive.

Matthew laughed and flexed his fingers. “Yes, but I’m afraid I’ll just cry all over them and that’s too pathetic for words. No, I want to be home.”

“Home it is.” Randall reached over and took his hand.

_//Rest pretty one. We have you.//_

Matthew squeezed Randall’s hand and slipped into The Beasts corner, curling up against his large frame. You don’t hate me then?

 _//Never. You are always ours.//_ A sliver of sadness slipped through the bond. _//I will miss Bug.//_

Matthew nodded. _Me too._

_//You do not want death and blood for him, so giving him to the weaklings is right.//_

_Thank you for finally getting the fucking point._

The Beast nipped at Matthew’s shoulder and he twitched. _//I hope he is not too soft.//_

_Yeah, maybe the hunt will be in his blood._

Matthew giggled at the hope shining out of The Beast at his words and let himself relax against his bond mate.

“Go to sleep, both of you,” Randall said with a gentle laugh. “It’s fucking weird to feel you two cuddling in my head.”

Giving Randall a sleepy smile, Matthew rested his head against the window and settled in to sleep. He felt like shit and a headache was brewing behind his temples, but Matthew tucked the truth of his actions into a place of honor in his memory. Whatever else they might do in this world, the horror and carnage he and Randall might wreck, they did the right thing for their son. They did something good.


End file.
